To those who must celebrate Mother's Day without a mom - I feel you.
For those of us who have lost our moms, Mother's Day is like Valentine's Day without a date, New Years Eve without someone to kiss, but with the added tragedy that you will never have it again.
Our families may pamper us and adorn us with gifts both bought and handmade, when we only wish that for one day, we could be spoiling the one we lost.
I wish Mother's Day was like the Day of the Dead in the movie, The Book of Life. It would be the one day of the year where you could have a visitation with your deceased mom/grandmother/mom figure.
In order to accept the celebration of myself as a mom, I must always find a special way to discreetly honor my own. Its the only way I can sit back and let the focus be on me for a change. After all, I can't deprive my own kids the chance to show me how much they love and appreciate me.
Here are some ways in which I find comfort on Mother's Day:
1. Watch an old home movie that my Mom is in.
2. Look at old pictures.
3. Go to church.
4. Do something with my daughter she would do with me, like getting a manicure, doing high tea, or visiting a garden.
5. Do something she always did, like put a lot of lemon in my water at a restaurant.
6. Tell my kids a good story about her, or read to them one of her favorite children's books or one that reminds me of her, (i.e. The Giving Tree.)
7. Watch one of her favorite movies or listen to her favorite music.
8. Wear something she gave me or that makes me think of her.
9. Write/post a tribute (hence this article.)
10. Think about all the ways she continues to have a presence in my life, (i.e. all the incredible mom friends, I am certain she sent my way.)
Of course, none of this is anywhere near what a visitation would be, but its like visiting the part of your own heart where they continue to reside.
If you are missing your mom on Mother's Day, I am so sorry, and I hope you can allow yourself to be celebrated for the great mom your mom taught you to be.
